The first date can be one of the most exciting and nerve-wracking experiences. You meet a new person hoping for friendship at the very least and true love at the best.
While you can’t control the chemistry and compatibility between you two, there are things you can do to improve the connection on your next date.
1. Be present
Being intentional during a date is key to maximizing your experience while exploring potential connections. This can mean planning activities that allow for lengthy conversations or choosing questions that delve deeper than surface-level topics.
It also means avoiding distractions, staying calm and being open to the experiences that come your way. This includes staying physically close to your date, which is a powerful form of connection. It shows that you care and are truly engaged in the moment together.
2. Be emotionally ready
Emotional connection is a key aspect to a healthy relationship. It is the ability and willingness to share your feelings with your partner, including the more vulnerable ones like fear and sadness.
It also means being able to talk about difficult subjects such as past relationships, family entanglements and career goals. It also means being able to empathize with them and listen without judgement.
3. Be curious
Curiosity is a natural state that helps us learn. However, our social environment can either nurture or diminish curiosity.
Those who are naturally curious embrace new experiences, read diverse books and take instructive classes and courses. They ask questions to understand and challenge what they see and experience.
To stay curious, it’s important to surround yourself with people who are excited about things. Consider joining a book club, volunteer group or hobby-oriented activity.
4. Be open
Even if your date hasn’t revealed much about themselves, being open and willing to share personal stories can be a powerful way of building connection. Being curious is also a great way to show your interest in them.
While the first few dates aren’t the time to talk about family feuds, mental illness or addiction, being open is a big part of growing your bond. Asking about their family and friends is always a good starting point.
5. Be honest
The foundation of a healthy and thriving relationship is honesty. Whether it’s little white lies or something more serious, dishonesty crushes love and erodes trust.
The first step to honesty is applying the golden rule to yourself: do not do to others what you would not like them to do to you. This applies to flirting, emotionally engaging with other people, and sharing personal information about your date.
Radical acceptance is also a powerful aspect of honest living. When we can acknowledge our negative traits and habits, we can start making changes for the better.
6. Be generous
It’s no secret that the world needs more generosity and it all starts with you. Practicing generosity doesn’t have to be financial; it can also include things like giving your undivided attention to someone or picking up rubbish that you see in the street.
Plus, research has shown that generous people are happier and healthier than those who don’t give. So what are you waiting for? Start being more generous today!
7. Be honest with your feelings
Whether it’s giving him advice or simply sharing your opinions, be honest with your feelings. However, remember to avoid hyperbole. Using words like “always” and “never” are often misleading.
Emotional vulnerability is a huge step in building trust. It’s important to speak up when your emotions are hurt so that you can address the issue and move forward, rather than burying the problem and creating more stress for yourself and him.
It’s important not to withhold important information, such as if you have children or are considering relocating in the future. But neither is it helpful to falsely agree with your date about things you truly don’t feel.
Remember that dating is about finding the right fit and not just impressing your date. You are the chooser too!
8. Be honest with your date
Honesty is the best policy, especially in the dating world. It saves you from sitting through a date with a total jerk and also makes guys respect you more.
Hiding things about yourself, such as your involvement in a massive online fandom or your fondness for dressing up in Disney cosplay, may seem easier at first, but it’ll come out eventually. It’s better to be honest with your date about your interests right away.